She just rang me. I’ve been trying not to think about her because it makes me think about the future too much. See previous post about living in the present…. I don’t want to put too many expectations on a relationship that’s really only just beginning.
Damn, I’m not used to having crushes on women.
OK well I need to go for a walk now – a mate of mine put me onto him about picking up some cheap tyres for the weekend.
I can’t wipe the smile off my face. 🙂
Yep, this is pretty cool.
The other night I installed the sidebar so that I can blog without bothering to visit the site. That’s pretty cool, huh 🙂
So anyway I just felt like dribbling some shit here and testing it out.
It’s midnight or something.. but I’ve had so much sleep today already that I’ve got a headache from it and I really don’t feel like going to bed – but I have to be at work in the morning to meet some people.
Ahh well, nothing a good book can’t solve I guess. Picked up another Janet Evanovich novel today from the airport. I think her books are aimed predominantly at women but who am I to care – they’re a good funny read. Crime novels from a woman’s perspective. I’ve got nearly all of the Stephanie Plum series, this one is called Metro Girl and it’s different characters, but definitely seems to be in the same vein.
The next couple of days, I think I’ll be just killing time. I should really be looking for something constructive to do but all I want to do is drive. It’s funny when you don’t have something you want it even more.
And of course I’m looking forward to the weekend, partly for the driving, and partly for another chance to spend some time with a girl who I really like. So yeah, anyway, I’m going to head to bed with a good book and hopefully tomorrow will be a day where I actually get some stuff done! Maybe I should clean my house. I love being a bachelor in the respect that I don’t have to bother cleaning much, but it’s not really presentable right now. Well it’s not too bad (I cleaned last week, as a matter of fact) but I’m starting to develop an urge to keep the place cleaner – in case of unexpected visitors 😉
Well phase one of my plan to run an 11 on the weekend is complete. Last night I drove up to Devonport, hopped on the boat, and this morning I drove off the boat and straight to Amberley Autos where the car is getting its makeover.
Then I jumped in a cab and headed back to the airport for the flight home! Couple of days without a car will be interesting – but I’m glad I came home because some work stuff has come up that I’ll need to attend to tomorrow.
On the girl front, I called her last night before I left and told her my fears. She told me not to worry about it and seemed really happy – we’re going to catch up and spend some time together this weekend (she’s out of town on a business trip this week).
I am really quite content at the moment 🙂
As of now, instead of referring to myself as being paranoid, I’m going to say that I’m “overthinking things” – because that’s exactly what it is.
I think to myself “I wonder what this person is thinking right now” and then I come to a conclusion, whether it’s good or bad, and then I think “but that’s not right” and I begin to go through all sorts of possible defences and explanations for situations and conversations that may not ever happen. As a result I begin to get angry, depressed, happy, or any of the other myriad of emotions that this hypothetical situation may induce, and my day could be infinitely worse or better as a result of this soap operaish drama that plays out in my head while I watch.
The problem is that firstly, these situations are hypothetical. Sometimes they never happen. Secondly, what I imagine people are thinking or what conversations will happen, quite often the situation is negative, and it sort of becomes a self fulfilling prophecy when it happens. But at least I’m prepared for it, I guess.
This is a really sort of abstract post, I know – not that I’m trying to be philosophical but I’m trying really hard NOT to think about what might or might not happen with various things in the near future – so I had to keep my brain occupied with other things. I’m not really sure if it’s working but at least I’m not getting worked up about it.
Tonight I’m going to meet a friend in town, to give her some membership forms for a couple of new Commodore Club members. Then I’m going to Devonport to get on the boat. Sometime between those two events, I’m going to call this girl and have a chat, and see how things are after the weekend.
In case you hadn’t guessed, that’s what I’m trying not to think about. Well that’s not actually quite true – I’m trying not to think about it negatively – because I’m sure everything is just fine. Surely it is. I can’t really see any reason why it wouldn’t be….
10 and a half hours until I’m due to sail to Melbourne with the car. I’m excited!
And the pics of the V8s are up in my newly installed gallery – enjoy 🙂
That’s all I can say. What a full on weekend.
The V8s were absolutely freakin AWESOME – aside from about a 2 hour delay in getting out of Symmons Plains, I’m soooo glad I went. Got a fair few pictures yesterday, which I’ll upload sometime soon. My webspace is starting to get rather full though, and it’s just a directory listing, so I want to start looking for a php gallery of some description to use.
And as for the party last night – well, what can I say, things went… rather well.
Her friends all seemed really nice, and really seemed to like me. I’m just a bit disappointed with myself though – I was all planning to take things really slow with this girl, and not put any pressure on her, and then last night we ended up in bed together – no sex (not that I wasn’t trying… I tend to have rather a one track mind when I’m drunk), but there was definitely some intimacy going on there…
So now I’m just not sure whether she’s glad it happened or not – but she kissed me goodbye this morning when I left, and seemed happy enough, so as far as I know all’s well… But I’ll call her this week and have a chat, hopefully it’s just my paranoia playing tricks again. She just seems to be playing it very cool at the moment.
For now I’m just going to assume that I have a new girlfriend…
Just watched it (tried unsuccessfully to *cough* acquire *cough* it more than once, a couple of months back). Recently decided it was time to grab a copy and watch it.
Not a bad movie but as per usual, as soppy movies do, made me all soppy and sentimental. Fair dinkum I’m a blouse sometimes! Now I need to go for a drive to get the testosterone flowing.
It’s hard to put into text but right now I’m making Tim Allen grunting noises. 😀
OK, I just got home from a long drive, and a trip to the V8s. What fun. Those things are absolute fuckin weapons – I can’t wait to see them racing properly tomorrow.. (this afternoon was just qualifying).
Went for a drive this morning to run the diff in and discovered where the speed limiter on the ute is. That was quite fun.
And I just called and found out where the party is tomorrow night – well within walking distance from my place, very cool. I am really looking forward to seeing this girl again, although there will be lots of people around who I don’t know, so it’ll be a bit scary 😐
There is always beer – what a wonderful social lubricant it is – and given my lack of consumption lately, and the fact that I’ll be standing round in the sun all day watching a car race tomorrow, it probably won’t take much!
Now I must stop looking forward quite so much and start living in the present. Tonight is blockie night – so I must eat food then take the car out for a few laps of town! 🙂
And I just watched School of Rock again…. I am totally buzzing, that movie still OWNZ0RZ!!! Hehe.
V8s tomorrow, shame I’m going on my own I think 🙁
The music is turned up really loud right now!
The weather’s been miserable today, really wet and pretty cold – not very nice to be out in, although this morning I went into work to meet up with some people visiting from interstate. I can’t believe how silly some people go on the roads when it’s raining – they’re either driving at 40kph or less, or they’re hooning around trying to force their way through traffic – both of them are fairly hazardous, and make for a less fun driving experience. Which is a real shame, so I hope the weather gets better for tomorrow!
Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the V8s at Simmons Plains – and I have a 3 day pass sitting right next to me – which is my main reason for hoping for good weather! If it’s wet tomorrow though, I’ll give it a miss I think, since most of the action I want to see is on the weekend anyway.
On the subject of women, I’m not really sure whether I should say anything – except that the girl I went for coffee with yesterday still seems really nice! I sent an email to her last night and she replied today.. it looks like she enjoyed herself. Turns out she’s a fan of British comedy too, which is awesome (we have plenty of DVDs to watch hehe). She SMSed me today asking for my last name, and I’m still wondering why – I might ask her when I call her tomorrow…
The world seems a really happy place right now. Damn I am an impatient bastard though – there just always seems to be something I’m waiting for. Right now I’m waiting for the trip to Melbourne next week, waiting for the V8s over the weekend, and the party on Saturday night. Waiting for the final decision to be made on whether we buy this ERP solution, so that I can discuss where my career is headed from here. Waiting for the next payday. Waiting for the drags next weekend. Waiting for myself and my fellow committee members of the Commodore Club to come to an agreement on a number of issues so we can publicly launch the club, officially. Waiting, waiting, waiting….
Why is it so darn hard to live in the now? Once upon a time I used to have a ring, which an ex girlfriend (THE ex girlfriend, as it happens) bought for me. I’d have to have a look but I’m not sure that I’ve got it any more – the reason I bring it up is that it had the words “Carpe Diem” inscribed on it in big fancy black script.
Those words should be a motto to live by, for all of us. Why worry about the future, if it’s going to hold you back from enjoying the present?
And how is it that one changes a mindset of always looking forward, into one that plans ahead, but remains firmly rooted in the here and now?
Maybe one day the answers to these questions will become clear… in the meantime I’m going to jump around to some Rob Zombie!
It’s been interesting…
Up and down very muchly. Dropped off the car for the diff work – the guy said he may need to get parts in so I may be without it until tomorrow! I said OK, well if that’s what it takes to do the job properly, then so be it.
Went into work to kill an hour until my appointment with the taxman. Nearly burst into tears in front of one of my staff for no reason. Hrm….
Buggered off into town, read magazines for a while, then went and did 2 years worth of tax. For ’03-’04 I owe the ATO about $770. EEK! But for the last year, they owe me a bit more than that. So I’m disappointed I didn’t get a big fat refund, but happy that I’m not out of pocket.
Off I go, read some more magazines, meet Jess (one of our Commodore Club co-conspirators) and look at some prices on getting keyrings made. We can get them for the price we want – yay!
So I go back and look at my car – he says he should have it done today. Yay!
I grab a taxi home and do some shit. Decide that it’s about time to get a server co-located and sell some webhosting (since I’m making a loss on the business at the moment, and it would be preferable if that didn’t happen 2 years in a row). Contract is sitting in my email inbox but it’s a big financial commitment and with the uncertainty about where my career is heading, not sure whether to sign up or not – but it’s only a 3 month contract…..
Then I go for coffee with the girl I mentioned earlier. Turns out she’s not a freak! Neither of us had time to get nervous… I think it went really well! We talked for over an hour, and I had to run back to collect my car as I thought they might have been shutting up shop…
Anyway she invited me to a housewarming party at her place on the weekend – does this mean she thinks it went well too? I think so! I hope so – because she’s a bloody nice girl. I’m doing little happy dances inside right now…
Then I go pick up the car, have a good chat to the mechanic, seems like he’s done a really good job, and boy, does the thing have some pickup down low now, where it never used to. Definitely a good thing to do! Now I just have to wait until next week, when all the other work is getting done, until I have an accurate speedo again.
I think I might go for another drive. Just because I can. 😀
..that you just feel like listening to sad music and making yourself cry.
Don’t ask me why – I have so many things to be happy about right now that it’s quite beyond me what the problem is….
Don’t know what’s come over me tonight…
Decided at the last minute to attempt to repair (by dismantling and cleaning out) my old keyboard which I love using (it’s a Logitech Elite) but sadly has been sitting in a cupboard since I spilt an entire tumbler of coke all over it and turned it into a paperweight.
All was going fine until, in my impatience to get it dry after washing, I decided to hit it with the heat gun and completely fucked it. Suffice to say that my heat gun is a lot hotter than a hair dryer, and that plastic melts bloody easily…
Anyway it was just a bit out of shape…. a couple of keys were a bit sticky (sticky as in not popping back out, as opposed to sticky because of being melted) but it was otherwise usable, I could have easily removed the keys that were dodgy (they were such uncommonly used keys as “alt” and that blasted windows key so I could have done without them) – but I managed to get myself into a fit of rage and demolish the thing completely. I should have taken photos.
Now I’m sort of uncontrollably listless… I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, can’t sit still, and don’t really know what to do with myself.. it’s one of the worst episodes I’ve had in a while. Just had a game of BZFlag but it didn’t seem to help, I’m still sort of screaming quietly to myself (I’ve done my screaming out loud, now it’s just a dull throb inside) and I don’t know what I should do…
What an interesting day!
I could dribble on for a bit here about all the things that happened, but I’m not sure if I should or not. I mean really, blog is short for “weblog”, right – so this thing should be a log of things, whether it’s things that happen to the writer, or things that the writer thinks about.
It’s occured to me that I tend to write a lot about things that happen, and a lot less about things that I think about. Which would give some the impression that I don’t think about things very much, when sadly, that is not the case. In fact, I probably think way too much about things, leading to severe paranoia and sometimes a lot of pain and heartache.
Today was one of those days, where I just thought about things too much, got myself into a state, and ended up bursting into tears in front of my boss. I didn’t enjoy that very much, and now I feel like a right goose for being so paranoid and stupid. But I’m very tired and feeling the pressure, I guess. I really shouldn’t have bothered going into work today (it’s the first day of my leave).
Anyway now I’ve got home, and discovered that this girl I’ve been emailing has worked out where I work from the talks we’ve had.. not sure whether that’s a good thing or not. I guess it depends what she’s like (although she doesn’t know whether I am or not, either) 🙂
I called her this evening and she’s just called me back – we’re going for coffee tomorrow afternoon.. oh god, I’m nervous…. but she sounds kinda nice on the phone. Very happy sort of person. Hrm!
I’ve been hit by two loads of comment spamming over the past 18 hours –
they’re all deleted now….
It’s pretty annoying, and quite sad the lengths that an online casino will go to, just to get a better ranking in search engines. Hopefully they’ll be filtered out now.
If anyone is interested in the IP addresses the spam came from, here’s a list which I’ve been building up – I’ll leave the “deny from” lines in case anyone wants to just add them to their .htaccess as they are:
deny from 220.110.194.146
deny from 217.19.50.74
deny from 203.59.134.107
deny from 216.205.208.108
deny from 217.215.34.195
deny from 218.89.107.2
deny from 64.60.147.28
deny from 12.162.224.7
deny from 65.40.197.195
deny from 217.113.34.210
deny from 219.118.174.73
deny from 210.17.164.43
deny from 202.157.81.81
deny from 212.241.87.160
deny from 213.249.236.146
deny from 69.60.109.192
deny from 219.101.248.131
deny from 160.79.249.240
deny from 200.77.144.246
deny from 202.248.22.236
deny from 213.92.68.179
deny from 129.93.40.8
deny from 202.234.131.166
deny from 217.154.168.67
deny from 165.228.4.103
deny from 80.95.128.11
deny from 81.3.16.130
deny from 202.134.124.168
deny from 81.0.141.245
deny from 24.79.222.216
deny from 210.3.40.69
deny from 211.105.232.186
deny from 202.44.175.84
deny from 220.17.0.104
deny from 167.154.2.40
deny from 4.18.162.104
deny from 82.230.128.78
deny from 66.208.130.186
deny from 213.171.248.91
deny from 213.134.171.116
deny from 81.0.141.245
deny from 82.230.128.78
deny from 210.187.10.150
I didn’t start blocking them until the second time around, so there may be more.
Go home spammers, I don’t want your advertising here. Get a real job.
Oh, and having just had a quick squizz at Ray’s blog, he reminded me of this weeks big news in the world…
I cannot believe that GWB got in again!!! 🙁
Well, I’ve just upgraded the blog to the latest version of WordPress, chucked a couple of new themes on it, and it looks pretty funky now. I suppose I should spend some time hacking at it a bit so it’s more “personal” but I’ll get there one of these days.
Today’s been a crazy busy day – shortstaffed at work and stuff.
But – I managed a couple of things. First, my diff gears arrived, so I’ll have to organise for them to be fitted next week. Second, I picked up some stickers for the car to advertise the commodore club – see photos below. Thirdly, I got another email from the aforementioned person (we’ve been emailing daily), who actually suggested we meet for coffee. OK, now I’m fucking nervous.
I’m listening to Evanescence again, and it’s not making me depressed!
I’ve lost 6 kilos!
I don’t smoke any more!
Things are getting back to normal….
4 weeks since my last cigarette and my lungs are still expelling what we used to call “lung biscuits”. Hurry up and detox, already! 🙂
If that hasn’t grossed you out you may now read the rest of this little self absorbed spiel about my life.
Yesterday I booked the car in for a trip to Melbourne, so that I can get some major (with a price tag to match) work done on it. Major in terms of the fact that it should pull an 11 second quarter mile after it’s done, too 😀
I’m trying to keep it quiet from most of the guys I know until after it’s done – November 20th is a big drag meet, especially for 4 cylinders, 6 cylinders and rotaries – but they’re letting injected v8s run as well.
I’m pretty keen to give some of the guys with smaller motors a good showing (after seeing it run 13.88 last time out, it’ll be a massive improvement, should surprise them a bit)….
Bought a helmet today too – absolutely love it.
Been watching lots of Battlestar Galactica – the new series is quite good.
Oh and – you heard it here first (none of my friends know) – I met a girl. Well almost… she messaged me on aussiematchmaker, seems ok. We’ve been exchanging emails and messages for the last week or so – she only lives one suburb away from me. I guess we’ll meet up sooner or later and see if there’s any chemistry 🙂
I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what would happen if this job opportunity comes up – it’s such a great opportunity, and I am sooo stale in my current job. But on the other hand.. this is such a wonderful place to live, and there are so many great things happening in my life that I just don’t want to move.
It’s almost like history has repeated itself – I spent 18 months or so here, without making the effort to go out and make friends or anything, because I thought I’d end up moving on. Then I decided to stay – and things started to happen, I met a bunch of nice people, and started having a life.
Then this IT project arrives and I’m like, damnit, I want to stay here and do it!
I can only hope that I can convince them to let me do it from here…. I will be trying really hard, believe me!
But we’ll see what happens – you can’t think too far into the future, and this situation may never happen.