Today wasn’t a great start to the day. Our five year old woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the dog didn’t want to eat his breakfast, and maybe it’s nocebo because of those things but by jingo my throat was fucking sore when I woke up. Gargling salt water didn’t help much, so I had a shower and decided I absolutely was going to take both Targin and Endone this morning. After that I really wasn’t feeling motivated to cook eggs, and in the end it took me about 45 minutes to force down a green smoothie plus a small tub of yoghurt and frozen blueberries.
By the time I’d done that I was feeling a bit woozy from the drugs and wasn’t keen to walk the dog so I had a nap instead.
Things did seem to get better from there, though. After waking up, I did take the dog for a walk after all and it was a glorious sunny day, so that helped lift my spirits a little.
Had scrambled eggs and yoghurt for lunch, and soup followed by rice pudding for dinner, but it’s still a battle to swallow even soft foods and liquids. The pain really doesn’t seem to have improved much, I’ve been gargling salty water and eating icy poles but nothing really gives much immediate relief. It comes and goes through the day, which I theorise is mostly to do with the timing of drugs. I’ve been taking the Targen (the slow release oxycodone) first thing in the morning and at dinner time, and today I took an Endone first thing in the morning and one mid afternoon. Right now (post dinner) I feel reasonably comfortable and I think that’s because the Targen has kicked in on top of the second Endone. My script is for up to three Endone per day so I figure this way I can take one more before bed if I feel like I need it…..
Anyway – another day almost done – let’s hope things start to improve from here because I’ve had enough of this already. I miss proper food, sleeping in my own bed, and the gym. Tomorrow I might try and walk a little more or find some other way to get off the couch, just to keep my mind off things. It can’t hurt.